Mother of Pearl
© by Suraj Holzwarth 2022 There is nothing more intense, no labor harder, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, nothing more...
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Momologues
Sixty-two self-identifying mothers responded to 18 text prompts. Read them here.
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Mar 22, 2023
Dripping from the Water of Yesterday‘s Bath
Tonight I treated myself with a bubble bath the water filled to the tippy-top, As I lie in the tub I am drawn to the effervescent sound...
Jan 2, 2023
My Son Didn't Mean to Hate Me.
My first husband was dissatisfied with his mother and when later in our marriage, he fell on hard times, he made it clear that he...
Sep 23, 2022
The Sonogram Tech Gave Me No Signs
Three. For some reason three was the magic number in my head. Number one was so hard to conceive, to carry, to birth, to nurture. Number...
Jul 13, 2022
The sound of that heartbeat cemented my faith
My husband was out of town for the day of my scheduled checkup. Home with our first born (via emergency cesarean), I was well into my...
Jul 11, 2022
I was not ready to make this commitment, and neither was he.
When I was in college, after a spell of indiscriminate sex partners who were not at all interesting or good to me, I met an artist who...
Jul 11, 2022
It was a time when abortion was legal and accessible
As a college student in the early 1980's, I married young and briefly, and had two abortions. I trusted a man who turned out not to be ...
Jul 10, 2022
Abortions are health care.
She was trying to become pregnant after so much planning. She’s so smart, such a planner. She was so thrilled to finally get a positive...
Jul 10, 2022
It’s hard to be a mom when the word MOTHER somewhere in your psyche terrifies you
My childhood was filled with intense emotional and physical abuse. My mother was a single mom in the 80’s. My mother was mentally ill, ...
Jul 10, 2022
You never fully get the true picture of your own childhood until you parent your own child
Listen, I never liked kids before having my own. I never cared about childhood development. I never knew babies were whole humans that...
Jul 10, 2022
My mother is a grandmother now.
"My mother is a grandmother now she says to me let’s catch up so I put my book down take a deep breath say sure and she is already...
Jul 10, 2022
We all are born, we live and we all die, but fuck cancer.
Birth and death seem to go hand in hand. The immense feelings, emotions, and experiences that come with motherhood are unexplainable, ...
Jul 10, 2022
Nine months later, the same woman who counseled me for my abortion delivered my perfect baby boy
I knew I was pregnant. That’s not why I made an appointment at the family planning clinic. It wasn’t my first time in this situation,...
Jul 6, 2022
I owned that choice
I was 23 when I had an abortion. I was a senior in college and getting ready to study and travel abroad for my final semester. I was...
Jul 2, 2022
Too Poor
I had been engaged for about 6 months. I had been feeling ill for several weeks, and when I missed a second period (because who on...
Jun 28, 2022
I wanted that baby so much
I had a complete hysterectomy that removed my uterus and a baby with a healthily beating heart the night before Roe v Wade was...
Jun 27, 2022
Two different choices can evoke the same emotions
"I never had to grapple with a decision that would change my life one way or the other. When I found myself pregnant in a toxic ...
Jun 26, 2022
My body felt different immediately
Storytelling is my love-language and you'd think that I'd be able to be loud and proud over this, but as you know, or can imagine, it's...
Jun 25, 2022
My healthcare team saved me.
My husband and I really wanted a baby. We were in our mid thirties. We’d been trying for a year. I got pregnant. We were ecstatic. I...
Jun 24, 2022
Neither of Us Felt Ready
We accidentally got pregnant right after getting engaged. Neither of us felt mentally, emotionally or financially ready to have a baby....
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