Today I Felt Loved When...
Sixty-two self-identified mothers participated in a series of text prompts for six-weeks.
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Momologues
Sixty-two self-identifying mothers responded to 18 text prompts. Read them here.
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May 8, 2023
Mother of Pearl
© by Suraj Holzwarth 2022 There is nothing more intense, no labor harder, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, nothing more...
Jul 28, 2022
Strike One, Strike Two, Strike Three
My entry into motherhood wasn't sunshine and daisies. From the moment I found out I was pregnant I was scared. And I remained scared for...
Jul 13, 2022
The sound of that heartbeat cemented my faith
My husband was out of town for the day of my scheduled checkup. Home with our first born (via emergency cesarean), I was well into my...
Jul 11, 2022
I had never felt so much love as when she was placed in my arms.
I spent eight months worrying about what it would be like when I finally went into labor. I had heard so many stories about painful birth...
Jul 10, 2022
We were not ready to start a family.
It’s almost 1am here. I’m wide awake after cleaning up the vomit filled bed of my eight year old. I’m also pregnant with my third child,...
Jul 10, 2022
I know my healing continues as I share my story
My husband and I already had two beautiful, healthy children that were well into self-sufficient ages. Two children were all we could...
Jul 10, 2022
It’s hard to be a mom when the word MOTHER somewhere in your psyche terrifies you
My childhood was filled with intense emotional and physical abuse. My mother was a single mom in the 80’s. My mother was mentally ill, ...
Jul 10, 2022
Nine months later, the same woman who counseled me for my abortion delivered my perfect baby boy
I knew I was pregnant. That’s not why I made an appointment at the family planning clinic. It wasn’t my first time in this situation,...
Jul 7, 2022
Hockey Moms
In a high school varsity hockey game my son in his Jr. year, was going for a puck on the boards right in front of his team's bench. He...
Jul 7, 2022
My body seems foreign but my baby is healthy.
After a surprise pregnancy and 9 months getting used to the idea of my new role, I had outlined my birth “preferences”. I had always...
Jul 6, 2022
I owned that choice
I was 23 when I had an abortion. I was a senior in college and getting ready to study and travel abroad for my final semester. I was...
Nov 20, 2021
The Gift
“And be REALLY CAREFUL, Mommie, it’s REALLY BREAKABLE!” Alden handed me the little package as if it contained a bubble still swirling...
Nov 1, 2021
One, Two, Three, Four, Five
Driving through Utah on our way to Zion National Park, I keep checking my phone, looking for some bars. I can’t believe that our fate is...
Dec 13, 2020
This baby felt foreign to me and I couldn't tell anyone.
I know now that I experienced postpartum depression with both of my boys, but to different degrees. Back then, there really wasn't a...
Dec 13, 2020
Lost and found body parts
You’d never think that motherhood would involve so much losing and finding of my kids’ body parts! Not to mention the body parts I’ve...
Dec 13, 2020
Three hot messes.
I can remember one evening shortly after returning to work after maternity leave and coming home from work/daycare with both girls....
Dec 13, 2020
Terrified I wouldn’t recognize my own child
I remember right after my daughter was born they took her to the nursery, cleaned me up and moved me from the birthing room to a regular...
Dec 13, 2020
I am discovering who I am, again
My nurse on the day we left the hospital: “isn’t it amazing, it’s like your heart left your body and is now in the world” she said. This...
Dec 13, 2020
MOMMM! You are beautiful!
I gained a lot of weight during my late thirties pregnancies. I nursed two babies for a combination of 51 months. Both left my body with...
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