Mother of Pearl
© by Suraj Holzwarth 2022 There is nothing more intense, no labor harder, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, nothing more...
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Momologues
Sixty-two self-identifying mothers responded to 18 text prompts. Read them here.
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Mar 23, 2023
Birthday Cake
I sat alone at the kitchen table. My daughter on a stool at the counter with her breakfast. I started to sob. again. A continuation from...
Jan 2, 2023
My mother looked down at her hands and said…"I’m pregnant."
I would say my life has been defined in a large part by the lack of agency my mother had in her choice to have children. She was married...
Jul 13, 2022
The sound of that heartbeat cemented my faith
My husband was out of town for the day of my scheduled checkup. Home with our first born (via emergency cesarean), I was well into my...
Jul 10, 2022
Abortions are health care.
She was trying to become pregnant after so much planning. She’s so smart, such a planner. She was so thrilled to finally get a positive...
Jul 10, 2022
I can’t believe this choice is being taken away from us
I spent the first night of my son’s life with only him in the hospital, as my husband was tired and needed to go home to sleep. I didn’t...
Jul 10, 2022
It’s hard to be a mom when the word MOTHER somewhere in your psyche terrifies you
My childhood was filled with intense emotional and physical abuse. My mother was a single mom in the 80’s. My mother was mentally ill, ...
Jul 10, 2022
We all are born, we live and we all die, but fuck cancer.
Birth and death seem to go hand in hand. The immense feelings, emotions, and experiences that come with motherhood are unexplainable, ...
Jul 7, 2022
My body seems foreign but my baby is healthy.
After a surprise pregnancy and 9 months getting used to the idea of my new role, I had outlined my birth “preferences”. I had always...
Jun 28, 2022
I wanted that baby so much
I had a complete hysterectomy that removed my uterus and a baby with a healthily beating heart the night before Roe v Wade was...
Jun 26, 2022
I was drugged
I was drugged and raped in college. If I hadn't miscarried I would have aborted. To this day I don't even talk about it with my husband...
Oct 20, 2021
I lost something
I realized I had lost something I hadn’t had before, after touching base with my new neighbor, years after I had lost it. She was...
Dec 13, 2020
‘Who will hold me?’ I wondered.
My last month of pregnancy I was wondering where my friends were. Busy with their business and not inviting me their fun. I guess due to...
Dec 13, 2020
What right did those people have to take her baby?
You’re getting fat. What are you pregnant? I smiled, having known that this moment was coming. She sat across from me, her own belly...
Dec 13, 2020
It was a shock to me.
Trigger Warning: This story contains subject matter relating to suicide. It was a cool November morning. I was cleaning up the kitchen...
Dec 13, 2020
They didn't push him up, they didn't sew my cervix shut
Trigger Warning: This story contains subject matter relating to death. Something felt wrong. I went to the bathroom and knew something...
Dec 13, 2020
They don’t tell you so much. They can’t.
"They don’t tell you so much. They can’t. No one can tell you what it will be like to be ten days overdue, lost in a hazy world of...
Dec 13, 2020
They had to sedate her
Trigger Warning: This story contains subject matter relating to suicide. I work in the deli at Hannaford. I am in the chicken room...
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